2009 Sep 21st - Goodbye Skittles

I've been gradually increasing my work hours up towards full time again - I have to be doing a 37.5 hour week by the end of October. I'll have been back to work for 18 months by then. I don't want to, I really really don't want to EVER work full time again. I did not go through all that shite for over two years just to sit in my car for over two hours a day. As soon as I can I'm leaving. There is no option for me to have permanently reduced hours apparently. According to HR I have a full time position, there are no other positions available that are part time. In any case, for the third year running we're just waiting now for the latest "company restructure" to be announced and see whose jobs are for the chop. I hope mine is.

Today I did a full 7.5 hour day plus a half hour lunch. I had to wait ten minutes for my daughter to meet me from college and it took nearly two whole bloody hours to get home. I was tired when I got up, I was very tired by 4pm and by 6pm still sitting in Peterborough rush hour I just wanted to cry with tiredness. We got home and there on the drive was our cat, Skittles. Our neighbour had laid him on a plastic box lid away from further harm. It looked like he'd had a head on battle with a car. I haven't stopped crying for long since we found him. Karys helped me dig his grave in the corner of the garden where noone walks but near some flower beds under a tree where I think he'd be happy. After everything I can't believe how such a little fluffy thing could mean so much to me, but he did. I only had his company for two years, since he was a little mischievous kitten. I got him when I started my second lot of chemo and he was my sleeping partner. He slept curled up on me when I slept. He sat on my knee and kept me company, he made me laugh when he chased flies and spiders and Alfie rabbit. He made me cross (but in a fun way) when he climbed up the Christmas tree, knocked it over and played with the baubles till they fell off then chased them round the room until they were "lost" under the sofa.

Right now I don't want another cat, it was a special window in my life when I had months to give to a tiny kitten to make sure he got used to our house without being lonely. I don't think I could leave another cat on his own while I'm out all day (for 12 hours) and I certainly know he was a very special cat, we had a special bond because of the days we spent together which few people can do.

I hope you didn't hurt much or for more than a moment Skittles x