Wednesday, 26 January 2011

2011 26th January - Scantastic

I've been absolutely drained the last few days. The side/back pain started easing on Sunday and although it had all but disappeared Monday morning (so I didn't go to the Dr) it was back in the afternoon. I was too tired to do anything with Karys and actually fell asleep on the sofa while she was here. We weren't sure if it was me snoring that woke me or her laughing at me snoring. I just don't sleep in the day time, even when I came out of hospital after surgery, I didn't sleep. The usual cross pelvic/hip pain is also back. Meaning I won't be dropping my fentanyl dose and possibly do need a referral to the hospice after cancelling it.

Two weeks ago I thought I was up for anything, got the great news from the blood test and immediately went downhill after that. Why? I'm hoping it's an infection making me feel lousy, but the sleepless nights when no position in bed is painfree make me wonder if it's more tumours in another organ. My appetite has dropped, but feeling crappy does that. I can't stop crying again, I struggle to stay awake most of the afternoon and it's all such a waste of my time.

After a horrible night I dragged myself into the shower, sorted a new bag for Fatty, did the whole catheter dilation and got to the hospital without any make up. I've not left the house without make up since I was having chemo. Not being able to eat doesn't help - I felt even weaker without any breakfast.

I lay down across a couple of chairs for a while in between drinks every ten minutes in the waiting room. The nurse couldn't get the cannula into my arm (the one that's had two PICC lines in) so had to call a Dr to have a go - 2nd time lucky. Seems the fine cannulas are a dodgy batch since both of them really hurt - the nurse is pretty sure it's a blunt batch as everyone had been wincing with them and I told her I don't notice them usually so she's looking into it. The one thing a cannula needs to be is sharp! She wasn't impressed that I'd driven myself in - because I looked so crap I thought but she was more bothered by me being on the Fentanyl. I don't get drowsy on them these days so I didn't see the problem. I didn't feel like she was telling me off, I think she just thought I was doing too much. She tried to convince me to use the volunteer scheme or hospital transport. No thanks.

I had two hours to wait for my next appointment with the urology nurse, the first hour shivering in the freezing waiting room near the main doors which didn't stay shut for more than 5 seconds, the second in the restaurant forcing down an awful gloopy broccoli bake.

She also asked if I was feeling bad, said I looked very pale. I was doing alright when I saw her a week ago, albeit in pain. Anyway, it seems I have leukocytes in my wee this week so an infection is likely and a sample has gone to the lab. If it shows anything she will let my surgery know, check they will follow it up and then let me know so I can just pick up a prescription. I probably should have gone to the GP anyway, but I've got cancer, I have good days, bad days, pain. That's the way it is.


crabbymonty said...

Hi Lisa,

I hope it is a simple infection, and even simpler fix with some pills. Looking forward to warmer weather and seeing you in better days.

Deborah said...

BB mojomojomojo and a big fat squishy HUG x

Tony Songhurst said...

Hey there, here's hoping for an infection - sounds stupid sying that but I suppose by far it is the better option ay!

You snoring made me smile I can just imagine...and nice that Karys and you have those 'moments'

as for the blunt cannulas, did they stop using them or just made all the patients wince...I am off to Weston Park tomorrow and hope I will be in luck as 1 out of 3 blood tests they get first time...usually I come out of the room with about 3 plasters up my arms. I am riding Miranda to the hospital tomorrow so will have to warm my arms up when I get there!

When you go to the hospital at lunch time can you take food with you...there are those containers that you can get a good portion of hot lentil and tomato soup in...although I suppose if you are feeling sh@*e you wont be up to cooking much?!

The urology nurse sounds pretty cool...I have a Macmillan nurse who is the same and even called me last week to check I had recovered from my overnighter after the chemo and bio stuff!

Let us know how you get on with the's hoping whatever it is gets cleared up pretty sharpish.

T x

Loopy said...

I'm pretty sure the nurse didn't want to use any more blunt ones Tony - they don't use tiny ones often (I am blessed with tiny chemo damaged veins) she wrote the batch number down, I didn't stay to watch anyone else being cannulated - wouldn't that be a bit weird ;o)?

I haven't been able to stay awake let alone prepare food to take to hospital lately. It took all my energy standing in the shower, catheterising myself and changing Fatty's bag, then driving to hospital, I was there from 9.30 till 13.15 and nothing to eat since night before so rather weak. They often have a lovely veggie curry but yesterday wasn't my lucky day.

Have to say I don't get anything from my Mac nurse. She's never given the impression she's interested or has time for me, and she stole my pen the one visit this "illness", I wouldn't mind but she didn't ask for the charitable donation :o)