2012 16th January - Going Home

I was excited from waking up the second time at about 5:20 again. I decided to have bacon and egg sandwiches with my yoghurt since it was my last chance.  I'll be cutting out meat again and as much dairy as possible and hope that helps with my insides.  Matthew the physio popped in for a chat and the nurses and HCSWs to say goodbye.  Yesterday there were a lot of goodbyes too.  One of the doctors came through to go through everything, to check I didn't have any new issues.  My nurse for the day went through my drugs and made sure I can draw up the methadone (did it last night too). Then I took my time packing from around 10, wrote a letter and a cheque to donate something specific (swivel tv bracket for the one in my room).  I got dressed and had lunch, more nurse visits to go through discharge (again where the hospice differs is they actually have your drugs ready and I have a check list which is helpful.

The taxi arrived while we were still going through all the drugs. Once everything was packed in the boot I was wheeled out in hat, coat, and gloves.  The driver didn't seem to understand the 2 second rule and was rarely over a second behind the driver in front,  mostly a lorry.  I had to stare out the side window to stop from telling him to stop bloody tailgating that I wanted to get home alive, not die on the sodding journey.  The chair was reclined back as far as I needed so feeling even less safe.

The first thing I did was turn the heating on and keep my coat, hat and gloves on. Then I had a battle again with wifi.  It didn't work for my phone or tablet in my room.  In the end I got up and reset the damn thing. It worked first time which is unusual for mine.

The carer arrived about 6:15 and told me the morning visit would not be 10.15 but 11.10 by the time she gets here, with my lunch visit at 13:00 it seemed rather pointless.  I'm not staying in bed till 11 before I have a wash or shower.  She said she'll try and ask someone else to come at 9:30 despite her ringing her boss and being told that isn't an option.  I shall be ringing my contact at social services tomorrow.  The key safe has been fitted but the code needs setting so I can leave my key in it and they can let themselves in to help me wash then come downstairs, get breakfast if I can't do it, being knackered from my wash and getting dressed.  She said she doesn't know how to do them so I'll have to come downstairs to answer the door when they arrive, nice.

She had very greasy hair.  She made me a cup of tea having spent half the visit giving me bad news, not even opening up the folded instruction leaflet for the key safe and made me some philadelphia on toast.  I think she showed the philly to the toast so I asked if I could please have some more (it's my bloody food for heaven's sake) so that I couldn't see the actual toast.  While I was eating she actually washed the teaspoon and two knives up in COLD water from my tap, I didn't hear the cupboard open for the washing up liquid under the sink ( I do like to try and keep a tidy sink area).  Then they went in the drawer.  I have a dishwasher, I have cancer.  I need to avoid infection. I do not need germs multiplying on things that touch things that go in my mouth.  So I told her there is no need to wash anything because I have a dishwasher "oh it's no trouble" maybe not, but I don't like things washed in cold water and have to be very careful about infections "oh ok, we're learning".  It felt like she was implying I had fussy ways that she had to remember.  Who thinks washing anything cold water is the right and normal thing to do? I'd better go to bed and get plenty of sleep since I have no idea which time call I'll get.  But it is good to be home.

Oh and my suitcase was in the wrong room so I had to drag, push and haul it into my room, left, I said, left !