2010 29th October - WIGIG (When It's Gone It's Gone)

Friday - I was still tired having been too excited to sleep much the night before but was up fairly early to go to Woodhall Spa to Glenn James for my wig fitting.

When I rang the shop on Thursday (whilst waiting for Hayley to get her emergency "the rules for selling lenses in the UK are different to France" eye test) the lady who answered the phone sounded lovely, I said I had just started chemo with some drugs that were known to make hair fall out considerably and would like to book an appointment before sending payment to the hospital trust.  She said that was the best idea, since if I gave her the cheque and the form I'd be able to take a wig away the same day rather than wait for it to clear and they would post it off.  She checked when my next chemo was to make sure I came in when I was feeling at my best - luckily had an appointment in the morning.

It's not a bad drive to Woodhall Spa at all, fairly straight road through New York where I couldn't help but take THIS.   Hayley and I had planned to go to New York in November/December to celebrate our 40th birthdays (hers is on Burns night).  So, I may have been alone, I may have been looking worse for the lack of sleep and no make up and the wind in my, MY hair but I DID get to go to New York and they put up a sign for me especially.

I parked in the prettiest Budgens car park ever (in a proper brick building that looks like the old railway houses that used to be on the site).  It was the same lady I spoke to on the phone.  She made me a green tea after I mentioned I don't like cow's milk and we had a chat for a bit, I think so she could figure out what sort of person I am and what sort of wig would suit me.  We went through the back room where there's a chair and a dressing table (very French looking) and floor to ceiling boxes of wigs on two walls - one wall having mirrored sliding doors.

She'd picked out a few shorter wigs because I'd said I had it short last time when it went very thin, but really I'd like something long.  Ideally both, but you know, we're not rolling in it are we, cancer patients?  One of them would have suited Katie Holmes perfectly - it was a long neat bob.  It looked awful, but you have to think about why it's wrong so you can find what's right...it was too twee - and apparently I'm "more rock chick" :0) .  Also my hair is fine, very fine so a lot of the wigs just had too much hair and too much height and drowned my face.  I tried a few short ones on, three were good, in fact the shortest one would have been ideal for Hayley to rescue her French do, but it was in European burgundy.  Now I dyed my hair that colour and many, many shades of red, brown, blue, etc but after the 90s burgundy just became a bit "wrong" but I do see it a LOT in the local Asda.  So, not wanting to look like I was stuck in a time warp or from a different country I rejected it.  Another was very close to a previous cut, but the colour was just wrong - too blonde, it made me look ill.

I lost count of how many I tried on.  Several people came in to the shop including a woman who was on her third cut of regrowth - starting to lose the initial fuzzy fluffy mess that appears first and not liking it - having previously had a blonde bob but now looking and feeling "old fashioned".  This lady came back just a few minutes before we managed to find The One.  The whole process had taken 2 hours.  At no point did I ever feel rushed or as if I was being persuaded to choose any particular style.  She could tell by my face that this last one was the most like my own hair, it's a bit flyaway at the front, has a long fringe, streaks of reddish brown and blonde in it (as I've had many times before).  They all seem to part on the left for some reason and I've been parting mine on the right for a few years now but this one was more central.  There isn't much weight on the top so even with my own hair underneath the wig bulking it out it looks like it could be my hair.

As luck would have it - even though it's a Noriko wig (some of the ones I coveted on the internet were Noriko and around £160 upwards) because of the material inside the wig it is actually available on the NHS for £60.  Apparently it has nothing to do with the make, merely the method of making the top section that increases the price.  I don't go to work, I don't go out very often, I don't have many visitors so realistically how often am I going to really want to wear it?  Three times a week on chemo week, once a week the week after.  Plus any time I go shopping.  But I like it and I know I'll feel safe wearing it and if I can master false eyelashes and either drawing or stick on eyebrows I think I'll risk going out given the opportunity (and being well enough to go through the whole getting ready process).

I bought some shampoo and conditioner and then had a little tear and a hug - happy tears that I'd managed to find one that day and didn't have to go through the process all over again or try ordering something that wouldn't suit, or having an expensive hand made wig.  (I really can't remember the lady's name, but she runs the shop with her sister who is normally there too but was sadly at a funeral) She told me to ring if I ever needed any advice or even if I just wanted to talk or rant at someone.  She also made sure I knew about the Look Good Feel Better course.  I rang Lincoln today, left a message.  She's going to the next one as a spectator but it's on a planned chemo week (blood results will confirm obviously) which means I'm unlikely to be up to the hour drive let alone sit through anything even for a goody bag.  We'll see how this week goes first.

Today is Monday as I write this and I washed, conditioned and dried my hair, brushing it first as always - there seemed to be a lot of hair in the brush.  Throughout the day as I run my fingers through my hair or just pull a single hair that's just hanging two inches below the rest - about 20 come out (yes I did sit and count them a couple of times to try and establish if this is normal, I know it's not).  I don't know what to do when it comes to it, shall I get it cut short quickly and see if I can keep my own hair for a while, or just shave it and go straight to hats, scarves or my wig?  Hmm....I don't care that people might see me with short hair, then long hair, not at all so that's not an issue.  I just wonder if I should hang onto the length until it looks bad or skip the looking bad stage.  As ever..........I'll see what happens and go with the flow.  It does help that I have a friend who is a hairdresser (although currently enjoying as I did, a few years off while the kids are small).  I might just ask her if she fancies sneaking in a quick crop as well as accompanying me to chemo one time soon.  Or just shave it off myself.  Aggghhhhh.  Too many options!

Right, best get some kip and get up early and start stuffing my face.  I'm going to feed myself up tomorrow and hope that keeps the sickness at bay with whatever options Dr Tom or The Lone Ranger offer.

Night all. x