| Happy Christmas
Current mood:  tired
Category: Life Well tomorrow is computerised (axial) tomogrophy day for me! I get to lie down for a while at least, hope my belly doesn't rumble too loudly though apparently the scanner is pretty damn noisy anyway. Christmas was alright as it goes, despite worrying about possibly feeling all maudlin I feel surprisingly chipper! Maybe it's because I've had my crying time and Tyson (as I've just christened it - meaning explosive or hight spirited according to a couple of websites and having fighting connections seemed apt) has been behaving himself lately, well sort of, in that I'm not living in the loo, but have been in a lot of discomfort.......couldn't sleep a couple of nights this week didn't seem to matter what position I lay in. Also managed to end up getting drunk on Christmas day and blubbing very briefly because I don't want my mum to end up looking after me. She's just retired and it's not fair, she looked after Jack for long enough and although she never complained, it took it out of her. It's her time now and I WON'T be a burden, mind you I'll still pop round for tea and lunch on a Saturday  , she likes feeding people, honest! But then I don't want my little umpalumpa (you know who you are B) doing it either, though if the housework gets on top of me Who'm I Gonna Call? Have managed to recruit two more volunteers to accompany me on hospital trips! I wasn't even trying, maybe I'm not such a whiny witch after all or maybe people see through my armour plating, damn, "note to self" must try harder to appear grumpy! Starting four month secondment when I go back to work on 2nd Jan, a week before I get my diagnosis - well I bloody hope that's what I'll get I can't wait any longer, it'll have been four weeks and that's four too many. I won't find anything out tomorrow, just the scan, the results have to be studied and written up by a professional chappy and usually results take two weeks anyway but I'm guessing mine might be a bit quicker considering what they're looking for. "Hotspots" I believe they're referred to, and what is a hotspot not? That's right audience, NOT a goodspot. Of course, this is all academic, the back pain that started two weeks before all this at the beginning of October may NOT be because of the pressure of Tyson leaning his fat ass against my spine, I might be feeling shit because I'm sitting around doing naff all, plus it's winter. Maybe I imagined the tiredness, or really it's gone now. Perhaps it's all psychosomatic? Obviously Tyson is real, I've seen his ugliness on the big screen, the blood and yak are real and my bloated belly ( no I'm not five months preggers actually) are defo real! Time is weird, half the time I think I'm imagining symptoms and then a doctor or hospital appointment just confirms something more and I think, no this is really happening. Saying a little prayer that Tyson is an only child and hasn't got bits of him floating around looking for anywhere else to set up home. Cancer is a bastard isn't it? You should go to Macmillan website and read some of the blogs on We Talk About Cancer discussion forums. Young people getting "old people's" cancers, I defy you to read the stories and not cry, Neil is the best though he was 26 when he was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had his insides chopped about, beating the odds of getting it in the first place he's nearly there beating the disease. Apparently it's rare to get colorectal cancer under the age of 40. It takes 3 to 7 years for a polyp/tumour to grow to one centimetre. I'm guessing I've been growing this little "shit" for anything up to twenty  maybe since I had the kids? 2007 is going to be different I feel. Hope yours is good different. 7:04 - 7 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove | 
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