Monday, November 05, 2007
| Dear Santa.........
Category: Life I am putting my request in early since I was rather disappointed with my main present this year. I went to see my GP and all he gave me were yet more drugs made from horses wee - in the form of HRT. Now I don't wish to sound ungrateful but a girl likes to feel special on her birthday an not like a shrivelled up old barren hag. Anyway, I digress...........could you possibly see to it that my neutraphils magic themselves up above the required 1.5 level because today the nice lady nurse told me I couldn't have the lovely chemo-cocktail that is Folfox. The poor little lambs only came in at 1.1 and basically, I've been here before. I have been a good girl and injected my poor patchwork tummy with the hurty GCSF injections (kind of like sending Vera Lynn to cheer up the troops and jolly them up a bit) but they don't seem to be working. I even went and had a flu jab on Friday instead of staying in bed all day again.
If you could possibly get the elves to knock up a few neutraphil soldier cells for me in the workshop just a few weeks early, I'll be eternally grateful - or at least until I shuffle off this mortal coil from OLD AGE if I have a say in the matter. I promise not to over work them and will take good care of them but I'd really like to spend Christmas not feeling like I've been hit by a truck, then reversed over again with a 53cm tube shoved in my arm - it ruins the photos to have a lumpy bandage and dressing. I spent last Christmas trying not to tell anyone I had cancer, even though I already knew I did a few weeks before - I don't want my friends and family to have to see me pushing food around my plate because it all tastes of lard (yes Badfish, spot on) and I feel sick. It's not for me, I personally don't mind the weight loss at this time of year, but I think my kids and my little sis have had enough. My son cried buckets only last week because he "doesn't want me to be ill any more". I cried too, because I don't want him to see me being ill and it's too hard to pretend I'm not. Then the crying continued because, as you know it BLOODY HURTS to cry thanks to the side effects of the chemo.
Sorry I'm rambling but I haven't written you a note since my children were babies and couldn't write very well themselves so figured I owed you a few words. I'll leave the good brandy out this year but I'm not sure I can stretch to XO, hope you don't mind.
Lots of love
Lisa xxx
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